confidence, pt. 3

1. If you’re scared of losing something, your devotion to that something is not a choice but a necessity. Every time you feel a little jealousy, you’ve lost some of your clarity and your ability to care. Unfortunately, that kind of intense care is a drug – receiving it can addict you to someone to the point where it’s very tough not to be jealous. When both parties can fight that addiction and remain free, though, it seems that they end up devoting themselves to each other that much more powerfully. Thus is the paradox of confidence: in order to achieve something you truly want, you must be confident enough to not need it.

2. Where has this confidence gone from the United States of America? Over-confidence and pomposity is what we’re known – in a bad way – for, but I see a lot of fear in the States that lends itself to insecure blustering. For example, religiosos declare that there must be a “war on Christmas,” and atheists fight back by declaring how stupid and unscientific all religious people are. The Roe v. Wade debate is similar – each side is terrified that the other will prevail but neither is confident enough to engage the other on its terms. Even if we acknowledge that so many consider abortion to be morally abhorrent, do we need law to prevent it? Is law even the best way to? Similarly, if wide majorities of some states feel so strongly about banning abortion, who are the coasts to impose their morality on them?

3. I would like to strike up conversations with people here, but I simply can’t without some language ability. It’s frustrating but not completely unsatisfying to be alone like this. I could be a bit more confident in my inability to speak French, though. There’s no reason for someone like me to resist asking if someone speaks English – after all, that’s clearly all I speak.

4. What’s somewhat hopeful about globalization is that if we want to avoid the big riots and backlashes that will destroy so much, we need to begin implementing smarter policies (education, tax, energy, labor). Surely some in power that don’t want to lose everything must recognize this. I suppose that’s why Sarkozy won, actually…but it’s not clear that he represents exactly what we need these days…